Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Solstice Special--The Order--Part Two Installment Special

[This being Christmas Eve Eve, instead of a regular installment, I present the Christmas Special with the Immortals showing a little festive spirit. Merry Christmas all! And New Year! And everything else that is merry and bright!]

On the first day of Solstice the peasants gave to me!” Murderous sang loudly, and badly, as he skipped through the temple throwing holly berries, pine branches, and burning torches left and right. “A man in a fire roasting!”
Mangler and Morbid watched the youngest of the Order decorating. “Do you think he cares he’s making up the words?”
On the second day of Solstice the peasants gave to me: two severed heads and a man in a fire roasting!”
Morbid snorted. “No.” She glanced at Mangler. “For that matter though, there’s real words? He’s been singing this ditty for a hundred years and you just now tell me there’re real words?”
Mangler nodded, but before he could speak, a mechanical rasp from behind them said, “It’s a long list of gifts from one’s true love that mostly involves people and birds.” They glanced over their shoulders to see Deathly watching Murderous leaping gleefully. “Frankly I prefer Murderous’ version. It’s more gruesome, but it’s more colorful. One gets tired of listing different types of fowl.”
“Calling birds aren’t considered fowl,” Mangler said.
Deathly tipped his beak down. “Believe me when I say that it does not make the song any more enjoyable."
Mangler smiled. “He does have more variation between versus.”
Morbid eyed them both curiously. “What happens to the birds in the original? Are they eaten, sacrificed, split open?”
Deathly and Mangler paused, then burst out laughing at the same time. Morbid punched Mangler in the shoulder. He winced, but didn’t lose the smile.
“They’re just gifts,” Mangler said. “Gestures of affection I suppose between true loves.”
Morbid raised an eyebrow. “I can think of better ones.”
“That’s what I say,” Deathly remarked, his head following Murderous. Skulls and mistletoe had been added to his spray, tossing it all hither thither in his own demented way of decorating. His enthusiasm was somehow endearing. Even if they all hated him the rest of the year, somehow they couldn’t find fault with his childlike joy around Solstice.
Five human hearts! Four birds of prey, three undertakers, two severed heads, and a man in a fire roasting!”  
Morbid caught Mangler’s collar. “Better ones like smiles.”
Mangler’s smile faded. “That wasn’t supposed to be a gesture of affection.”
She shrugged. “Make it one.”
She draped her arms over his shoulders, Deathly moving away conspicuously. “It’s Solstice. That’s when the mortals get drunk and celebrate the return of the Kind-God. Who says the gods can’t do it either?”
The corner of Mangler’s mouth lifted. “We’re not gods.”
“Even better,” Morbid said.
Murderous broke into the eighth verse and flung an armful of decorations at them. “On the eighth day of Solstice the peasants gave to me!”
A garland of mistletoe landed on the pair of them. Mangler glanced at it.
“I love when he decorates with poisonous plants,” Morbid said.
Mangler nodded, looking her face over. “It has another meaning, too. Tradition I suppose.”
“Something that goes with the original lyrics of Murderous’ song?”
“If two people find themselves beneath mistletoe, they’re expected to kiss. For luck. Or something.”
Morbid laughed. “Was that a request, oh great god of chaos?”
“Depends on the answer.”
Morbid laughed again, drawing a smile from Mangler, then she leaned in and kissed him.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Others--The Order--Part 2 Installment 17

[Hey it's back! Because I have conquered armies and dragons and all is well again. Or at least mostly. Well enough. Anyway, this installment's soundtrack is....


Morbid opened the door to her quarters, then groaned. Murderous was in a heap on the floor by her bed. He was covered in blood, some of it even his. Morbid did not care.
“Get out, creep,” she drawled, moving to her wardrobe and sliding it open.
She heard him moving and ignored him, focusing her attention on the stacks of books, trying to choose one. Then all at once his arms were around her waist, his lips against her neck. Morbid reacted instinctively, slipping her foot around his leg and twisting, sending him the ground. She followed, kneeling on his chest and pressing a knife to his throat.
“What in chaos do you think you’re doing?” she demanded.
Murderous stared at her with wide eyes that were filled with fear. “Something’s wrong with me,” he whispered.
“Something’s always been wrong with you. You think that gives you an excuse to touch me without my say so?”
“You must help me,” Murderous said, reaching for her. She slapped his hand away. “I need things now. I crave such strange things.”
Morbid kicked back off of him, putting her knife away. “I could not care less. Now get out before I’m tempted to cut something off of you for touching me.”
Murderous rolled to his feet, but didn’t leave, just kept coming toward her. “You must help me. Morbid I cannot satisfy this, this…she said it was hunger. She said it was a type of hunger.”
Morbid watched him angrily as he entered her personal space. “I don’t know why you’re all human-y all of a sudden, but listen close. There are some things you just don’t take. Now get out of my sight before I kill you again.”
“No! You don’t understand—”
Morbid didn’t let him finish. She grabbed his wrist, twisting his arm behind his back until something popped twice, then rammed him headfirst into the wall, eight times, until he went limp. She doubted she’d actually killed him, but didn’t bother to check. Then she glanced at her stacks of books and groaned loudly, slamming the wardrobe door shut, and storming out of her room.
As usual Morbid didn’t announce herself before bursting into Deathly’s lab. “I don’t see why you can’t just kill him,” she said.
Deathly closed a tall cabinet Morbid hadn’t noticed before, locking it as he said, “Because Murderous is Masuta’s right hand. I presume you mean Murderous?”
Morbid snorted. “Who else? Just kill him and say…I don’t know, he had reached his limit for resurrections.”
Deathly tilted his head, looking Morbid over more carefully. “What an interesting idea.”
Morbid leaned against the table. “Interesting enough to do it?”
“No. It is an actual problem, but alas even Murderous has not reached his limit.”
Morbid straightened. “Hold on, Death. Do you mean we Immortals are not in fact Immortal?”
“The technique is not perfect. The complete knowledge was lost.”
Morbid grabbed his arm, then paused, slowly leaning back, realizing the better question to ask. “How do you do it, bring us all back to life? It’s technically not possible or else undertakers would do it all the time.”
Deathly extricated himself“It is an old, old technique, older than Masuta.”
“Yes, but how does it work? I know a fair amount of undertaking, nearly as much as an actual undertaker, and it isn’t possible with their methods. Once you die, the hew moves on; there’s nothing to bring back. You could maybe reanimate a corpse, but it wouldn’t do anything. You could teach it to shake maybe. Roll over.”
“Undertakers could not do what I do. I use techniques they have never known, access parts of the cosmos they cannot even sense.”
Morbid tipped her head to the side in a good impression of Deathly. “If undertakers can’t do it…then what could? They’re the only ones who work regularly with death.”
Deathly chuckled. “Not the only ones.”
“Not you,” Morbid said.
Deathly leaned closer. “And I’m not the only one.”

Sunday, December 14, 2014


Now, now, blog friends. I know. Where's the Order? Where? It's a-coming. I have just one more hill to trudge over and then it'll be there. Look to Tuesday. Possibly Monday, but definitely Tuesday.

Monday, December 1, 2014

temporary delay

Due to an unexpected release of the Kraken that has temporarily disrupted the brain functions of the persona behind the blog, The Order will be postponed until next Tuesday. We apologize for any inconveniences to your weekly habits this may have caused, but are not going to do anything about it. Please enjoy the rest of your existence as a human being on this planet before you morph into a transplanatary being living outside time and space as we currently know it to be.

Thank you,

Blog Management